When I first began writing this post, I stumbled upon an article detailing the many phases of womanhood. It laid out a neat list of milestones as if the entire experience could be reduced to bullet points. The descriptions were so comically specific that I couldn’t help but let out a deep, resigned sigh. Who will tell these authors and the doctors trained decades ago that being assigned female is far less of a fixed state and more of a dynamic, evolving journey than they ever imagined?
Take puberty, for instance. It doesn’t arrive on schedule like clockwork for everyone. The so-called "reproductive years" are often portrayed as a time of joy and new life. Yet, for many, these years are filled with profound loss, surgeries, pain, and fatigue that settles deep into the bones. And that graceful glide into menopause? Please. It’s more like a face-first crash landing after the confusing, years-long turbulence known as perimenopause, a phase that can stretch across a quarter of a woman’s life. During this time, we’re constantly playing the thrilling game of “Is this emotion real, or is it just my hormones?” Truly, it’s a riot.
Does wisdom come with all of this? Absolutely. But it's not the kind of zen wisdom that emerges from peace and stillness; it's born from learning to trust the unpredictability of our bodies. Perhaps the most important lesson is learning to embrace both the possibilities and the limitations of this body we inhabit.
No matter where you are in the timeline of your own life, there’s a profound sense of relief that comes with this acceptance—almost like a deep exhale. It’s the purest form of self-appreciation because by now, you’ve seen your body in all its variations. You’ve lived it, felt it, been it. And if you’re fortunate, you’ve come to honor that journey. When we reach this place of self-honor, all the criticisms lose their power. Whether your body is dimply or lean, pristine or imperfect, wrinkled or smooth, you’ve been you through it all, and you will continue to be you until the very end.
Can we arrive at this deep self-acceptance before reaching midlife? Maybe it will always be a work in progress. I’d like to believe that I’ve always respected each stage of my life, but hindsight has a funny way of clarifying things. Surviving past midlife does offer a unique perspective. We haven’t always been kind to ourselves; we’ve often demanded the impossible. So let’s begin now because if not now, when? Let’s embrace that this ride is different for everyone, but the vehicle—our bodies—are unique gifts, perfectly tailored to us. Cherish her.
#mentalhealth #PersonalStories